Hindsight is 2020

2020

Thankfulness 

 

     I started this year with a New Years resolution to work on building up my mental strength. In all general purposes, my mental strength is pretty decent, but I thought it could be honed a little better. Be careful what you ask for. The year 2020 has been a whopper for sure.

   Most everything on my agenda was changed. The global agenda has been waylaid. The time of national instability, for the first time in my existence, has arose. Growing up and flourishing in the decade of excess and following in the footsteps of the Baby-boomers has been an easy ride. Inadvertently I was not wrong to focus on mental strength this year. In hindsight it was truly more about my sheepdogging performance and becoming sharper and quicker on my decision making process. Secondly, I think I had in mind, trying to formulate a smooth exit strategy to slide into some form of semi-retirement. Maybe I was hoping to formulate at least a pencilled out version of the next chapter. 

     Now we are proceeding into the season of thanksgiving.  This year I can attest I am full of gratitude for so much that is truly innate. My professional team assessed our situation locally, nationally and globally and did an immediate pivot for intelligent safety. We set the bar high early on, and I can proudly say - we were not wrong. Financially, it was a tight rope walk, strung thinly across the Grand Canyon. Without signing up for any assistance, we took it one pitch at a time. Short staffed and spread thinner than Marmite on a muffin, we soldiered on. I could not grasp a predicted timeline, so I had the chance to focus on the strength of staying fully present in the moment. Depleting my reserve, from time to time, I accepted props from my support team when needed. When you are fully in the arena with your face marred by dust, sweat, and tears...you will also find out who your friends truly are.  I found a nice comfortable seat in the saddle of my own mental narrative. Truly taking it one pitch at a time, and keeping my eye on the ball. I  am thankful that through this dicey time we are more than surviving, we are thriving. 

    The marble jar. Well here it is, an analogy straight from Brene. Humanity is what it is. I am vulnerable and very soft about people, sometimes. Decidedly I admit being overly sentimental. This year I have revisiting that it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing deal. Without compromising authenticity, you can put marbles in - or knock marbles out- of that old friendship marble jar. I am good with it. Moving right along on my journey. 

     The year 2020 to this point, has been a challenge and a gift. I have survived. I have cleaned off my own porch.  I have reached out and helped more individuals than ever in a different fashion, and have trashed my comfort zone. I have fought on bravely in a dusty arena with no end or answers in sight. I have found the good in people, was much better than I could imagine. And the nastiness of humanity does not have to be entitled access to my ‘marble jar’. Finally, I have revisiting a lesson learned early on from my Mom - the best joys are still found in the small things noticed. 

     So cheers to 2020 🍾🍾. My resolution was fulfilled several times over. My lessons and new found strength added to my hip pocket on my continued journey.